What a mess! I reflected. I live like a frightened kid. I am so controlled by what other people think or might possibly think. But that was about it. I didn't know where to go from there. . . . As far as I could tell, there was no way out. This was my life. Self-consciousness, being controlled by the opinions of others, or whatever it was called, could only be managed, not cured. . . . Every rejection, every perceived failure, every person I wanted to be noticed by who didn't notice me reminded me that I was still the kid sitting in the back of the high school auditorium.

Edward T. Welch, When People Are Big and God Is Small