Many of the people I've talked to ... saw the controlling power of other people. They awoke to an epidemic of the soul called, in biblical language, "the fear of man." ...

However you put it, the fear of man can be summarized this way: we replace God with people. Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others.

Of course, the "fear of man" goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called "peer pressure." When we are older, it is called "people-pleasing." ...

"Peer pressure" may be submerged and revealed in more adult ways, or it may be camoflouged by your impressive resume (your perceived successes).

Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? [If so,] you are a "people-pleaser," another euphemism for the fear of man.

Do you "need" [affirmation, etc.] from your spouse? . . . For many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God's design for his image-bearers. . . . [A] spouse [can] quietly take the place of God in your life.

Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This ... is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up.

Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? ... The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that ... their possible opinion that you are a failure [controls] you.

Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people's eyes?

Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience "love hunger"? ...

Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. ...

Do you avoid people? If so, even though you might not say that you need people, you are still controlled by them. ...

Have you ever been too timid to share your faith in Christ because others might think you are an irrational fool? ...

Fear of man is such a part of our human fabric that we should check for a pulse if someone denies it.

Edward T. Welch, When People Are Big and God Is Small